Month: July 2017

i feel good today. some of my relationships are shot. others are thriving. i am ok with that. some people are toxic and it’s ok to shed the skin, metaphorically. i’m still on my body plan. my goals are still in play. i hover between 190 and 191. for the sake of simplicity, i have lot 52 pounds. i have also started to see tons of definition. my final weight loss goal is 180 and i hope to make that my december 1. my simultaneous goal at that point is 17% body fat. i currently have about 41 pounds of body fat and hope to get that down to 30 pounds. from that point forward, i hope to start increasing my musculature without reducing fat in pounds. i may never reach these body fat goals if i continue to increase musculature. if i somehow managed to gain 1 pound of muscle per month, then i will never drop lower than 185. we shall see. 

not much in the way of intellect in this post, i’m afraid. the relationships are swirling around the drain again. i fee terrible. am i ready to grasp my basic malfunction? can i correct it? or am i irreparably damaged? i am arrogant. i am aloof. i am all those things to hide my broken parts. but sometimes people see the broken parts anyway. they back away and stay away. it’s my cycle. it’s my pattern. bye, sam. another one bites the dust.