Month: October 2017

if i won the lottery today, i’d buy your love tomorrow.

this depression has stabilized. xanax helped a bit. mostly it was time and being calm … perhaps a bit of and letting go of some people and some anxieties. i still have excessively high expectations of people. letting go of some efficiency helps with that. but how can i operate at a high level and not have high expectations of other people? quandary…

that moment you realize he was interested in you only because he predicted you couldn’t possibly become interested in him beyond the basic plowjob. it’s okay, dude. you are trapped in your life at this point. and that last chance that slipped away? it’s going to keep slipping away until the day you die, broken hearted and unfulfilled. that’s human nature. the hunger is never satisfied.

the flip side of the coin is that i’m majorly depressed. i hate my relationship with my partner. i hate my coworkers. i hate my family. i hate my friends. i can’t sleep. i suspect i got a batch batch of decaf coffee. i lack all manner of self control, yet i don’t want to take a benadryl to sleep. if i don’t go to sleep soon, i will have a fucking shit day tomorrow. natural born breeders? i think it’s worth $5, probably. and fuck it. i’m taking a benadryl. i need sleep more than i need self control. 

shaking up my world. i can’t sleep because of you. i want to reset my world learn to love you. the infatuation is real! 

elastic heart. i never knew. sia. shia le bouf. i would die for either one. even though it’s not her. 

if you only knew what you had, you wouldn’t be fucking around. your ignorance holds you back more than you could ever dream. therefore, reckon it. do the calculations. the numbers don’t lie. 

all staff meetings are like a pride of cats sitting around for an hour licking themselves. 

i met a cub. we had a 3 day love affair. it was amazing and perfect. now he is gone, back to chicago.