Month: December 2018

with pizza and custard. 

i feel the darkness flying up towards me as my body hurls down along the layers of geologic time. hello saber toothed cat. hello dinosaur. hello dunkleosteos. oh what’s this? face, meet pavement. i would normally go for a glass of wine or a bottle or three. but this time i’m going for a pizza. it’ll make me sick, i know it will. but it will satisfy the dark urge in my mind for a quiet place. right? 

i don’t have friends. i do have acquaintances. nobody asks, “what do you like to do?” anymore. the question was moot. when they did ask, the answer never pleased them. nobody asks, “what do you do for work?” the answer always confused them. i am a civilized mind in an uncivilized world. intellectually i fly above the crowd. it’s rather disheartening. it means i am alone in the world. perhaps the solution is to seek interest groups in my city.

i almost never contrive writing in here. but i must. i have nothing to say. winter depression is setting in. so what do i have to say? i’m not surprised by current events. i predicted a recession. here we are deep in correction territory. the “president” is staring down a barrel because he’s a mobster and the le is going to take him down. ain’t that nice? wel at least i get to go on vacation in january. i sure do fucking need it.

fear of missing out. fomo. addiction. it might not have occurred to your fast brain as a logical connection, but when you critically analyze it using your slow brain it will make sense. dopamine and other neurotransmitters are the basis of addictions and this addiction is no less relevant or powerful. the difference is in the mechanism that triggers it. i see it more and more each day, that is, i realize it as every moment passes. it might be otherwise known as the-grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side-of-the-fence syndrome. we get so busy chasing experiences or knowledge or whatever that we forget to develop the resources we have. perhaps this is why long form journalism is making a comeback. i don’t know scientifically but it seems like a logical connection and could form the basis of a good hypothesis. what i do know is that fomo is not compatible with my lifestyle and never will be for several reasons. i am the anti-addict. also, i seem to be an operational-strategic thinker. that means i will cut your process time by 90% but only after cogitating for hours upon hours. do those hours add value? no? then please find someone who is addicted to fomo. i am not (or won’t be for much longer if i’ve just made a false statement). you know me! always frustrating to the last drop.