the working out has been working out. i’m still losing the fat and gaining the muscle. for the record, i still love fat and husky and chubby and sticky and curvy and all them. so haters, fuck off. anywho. the only real problem here is that i am riding a wave of high testosterone and it’s hard to manage. it’s easier to control some impulses and harder to control others. strangely, my sexual needs are much subdued and my self-actuational needs are much accelerated. i seem to need higher order, psychological idioms of masculinity — honor, respect, dignity, discipline. of course, being the anti-genderist that i am, lumping them under masculinity is the incorrect approach. it’s certainly convenient, but i never prefer to do things that are convenient – that is, my identified self never does. of course my intrinsic self (selves?) has (have?) different opinions — but i’m in charge here! i like to do things that flow with the balance of respect for everyone and everything. that’s rule numero dos. rule number one is — watch out for yourself. i guess that righteousness and indignation are also parts of the testosterone wave. so. command to future self (selves?): continue working out. see how far this goes. but like always, watch the line and only cross it 1-2% per cycle. that’s the simple law of performance enhancement. and watch out for plateaus. they are rarely mountains.