Category: Uncategorized

john c maxwell. yikes. the 5 levels of leadership. yikes. this guy was a preacher. a pastor. he likes football. a lot. all his heroes are villains of the #metoo movement. heaven forbid you are not a white, straight male while putting these pieces of good old boy, peter pan advice into practice. these nuggets will get you lynched if you don’t pass the test.

i had a bad dream. i was in an airport security line. there was some sort of altercation across on the other side of the room. i couldn’t see what it was but the security officers drew guns and starting firing towards the opposite wall. the frightened crowd began diving for cover. we all hit the ground but the gunfire just kept coming. they were firing at some sort of monster that was fast and was going to point to point. it must have jumped over my head. the officers were so terrified that they were no longer concerned with civilian casualties. they were firing blindly, indifferent to innocents. as the beast leapt over my head, a shot ricocheted against the wall. my hands covering my head, my forehead touching the ground, my last conscious thought was that i’d been struck with a bullet in the neck. a few seconds later and i was dead. then i woke up. now i can’t get back to sleep. bugger.

andrew carnegie, lucky billionaire, guilty of undending crimes, guilted into giving his money away, empowered a lowlife like napoleon hill to write a book about magic. it’s called “think and grow rich.” the principle of auto-suggestion … my goodness! it really worked out well for the egyptian pharaohs but not so well for the thousands of slaves and millions of poor-as-fuck worker bees. it’s old fashioned sympathetic magic. ugh. his chapters on faith and auto-suggestion are particularly disgusting.

i’m not a very good boss. i do all the things i say people shouldn’t do. i think i’ve figured out why. it’s because i’m not a boss. i’m an educator. i’m trying to educate you how to be a good boss, not be a good boss. and i’m not a very good educator in the sense that i don’t hold hands and pray. i am pushy, impatient, unforgiving, principled, ethical and functional. that’s everything people hate in both bosses and educators in terms of personality. but it gets the job done and it raises the ship that’s sunk from the bottom of the ocean. everyone hates me but they respect me — respect in the old fashioned sense of the word, that is, fear and terror and awe. oy!

we live in a world with zero empathy. giant tragedy strikes. oh, well. thousands dead. oh, well. fuck it. let me get back to what i was doing.

dodged the black hole.

i feel a black hole coming. it’s been building. it’s been intensifying. it’s been calling. it’s been growing. it’s been gravitating. how do i stop it? and should i? or do i ride the wave?

you’re welcome.

you’re welcome.

the working out has been working out. i’m still losing the fat and gaining the muscle. for the record, i still love fat and husky and chubby and sticky and curvy and all them. so haters, fuck off. anywho. the only real problem here is that i am riding a wave of high testosterone and it’s hard to manage. it’s easier to control some impulses and harder to control others. strangely, my sexual needs are much subdued and my self-actuational needs are much accelerated. i seem to need higher order, psychological idioms of masculinity — honor, respect, dignity, discipline. of course, being the anti-genderist that i am, lumping them under masculinity is the incorrect approach. it’s certainly convenient, but i never prefer to do things that are convenient – that is, my identified self never does. of course my intrinsic self (selves?) has (have?) different opinions — but i’m in charge here! i like to do things that flow with the balance of respect for everyone and everything. that’s rule numero dos. rule number one is — watch out for yourself. i guess that righteousness and indignation are also parts of the testosterone wave. so. command to future self (selves?): continue working out. see how far this goes. but like always, watch the line and only cross it 1-2% per cycle. that’s the simple law of performance enhancement. and watch out for plateaus. they are rarely mountains.