Category: Uncategorized

stawp me if you’ve hird this one befah.

eh eye slop, eeh hai slop and hey yai slop walk into a bar … the a i slawp tender asks, which juan ahv yous ordered the hentai slahp?

the tech brahs have finally figured out a way to corral you fervent monkeys. they’ve figured out how to imbue you with a sense of satiety so complete that you’ve completely forgotten that you’re the product. the picked your chicken ass up out of the field and stuck you in a cage. now you shit on a grate, eat feed from an auto feeder and drink fluids from a nutrient bottle. you males sperminate into cups. you female drop eggs into tubes. all of you are culled before full maturity, plucked, skinned and chopped into convenient, tasty cuts.

congratulations! you’re a commercially farmed domestic product! your sense of power and control is entirely false. the illusion is complete. have another nutrient wafer and get in your locked and guided personal transporter which will take you to the climate controlled gym, where you’ll enjoy two hours of spoon fed infotainment on giant screens while you walk on treadmills and further dissociate from your fellow apes.

the question then becomes, who has the control you lack? who has the power you gave up? who have you subjugated yourself to?

that’s easy. the robots.

who is the overlord of the robots? that’s easy, too. the ones who’ve spent the last 75 years instructing you to program the robots to do their bidding. congratulations again! you didn’t even realize you’ve been a dairy cow hooked up to a milking machine.

what did you get for all your effort? a bag full of milled grains. what did they get for all your effort? a pyramidal tomb capped in solid gold stretching to the heavens.

what do we want? slavery! when do we want it? yesterday! what are we going to do to get it? sit around smoking weed and flipping burgers and delivering trinkets to ourselves!

but! don’t worry your pretty little head over it too much. some people like being happy workers. the addiction to ritual is real. after all, you’d rather be a fat and ignorant farm animal than not, right?

what up?

quantum computers don’t work. they haven’t found that one weird trick yet.

classical computing was a dead end for thousands of years until the invention of the transistor.

how many millions of years until someone finds the quantum transistor? it certainly won’t be a member of the human species because the doom clock is about to strike midnight. humanity is on the verge of self-annihilation. maybe the silurians will get round two after the birds inherit the earth.

i like people generally.

especially cats. and dogs. and horses. they’re good people.

humans are so rarely good people, especially the ones in mobs. even worse are the ones in cults.

why are so many humans in cults and mobs?

if we don’t get pancakes 20 minutes ago, 47 will kill all the gazans, ukrainians and iranians!!! 

the rage virus is real. humans are such easily programmable apes. unfortunately, programming is a once and done. “kill!” ok. “don’t kill!” what the fuck you talking about willis?! i’ll kill you!

also. cancel culture, fuck off. you are the rage virus.

also. impeach 47. try 47. convict 47. imprison 47. it is the rage virus patient zero.

if it were a mountain troll, we would fear it

have no fear

it is a weak little troll

it screams, it beats, it bullies, it bashes, it belittles

because that is what it is

nonetheless

kill it

for the first time it was weak and stupid

this time it has enlisted the aid of its army of toads

but the third time’s a charm, they say

so kill it

not with old age

nor imprisonment

but with an axe to the neck

as all small trolls deserve

republicunts want a refund. they thought they were getting checks from the lost prince of nigeria. turns out, they didn’t get the deposit, they got their gubahmant cheese taken away and their last child tax credit yanked. lol!

who told you stupid looked good on you? they’re stupid. this decade. last decade. the stupider the better.

no good reason to wish ill upon you. you wished ill upon yourself. stupid. but that’s you, entombing yourself in the stupid niche. darwin will get you, sooner hopefully rather than later.

i don’t need to know the result of every scientific study. i don’t want to know the result of every scientific study. i don’t care.

i do most definitely need to support boring science and every single study.

why? you fucking dunce!

because science is additive. it is multiplicative. it is exponential. it is tetrative. it is pentative. it is transcendent. it is emergent.

don’t be a monkey. don’t be an ape. don’t be a hominid. go beyond, you fucking punk.